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The Feathers Publication
An IdioT’s  Scribble – #3
June 2014.
Why did I lose when I could win ? Neither did I was prepared for this blow nor did I was ready to accept the defeat. She saw me today. We didn’t speak. She left immediately. She texted me a month before and said she would be coming to meet me. I gave her directions. And now she came. But left immediately. She was there at the opposite side of the road. She crossed the road and came near to me. IÂ looked into her eyes.We didn’t speak.Actually it was I who made her walk away.
My only mistake I didn’t react. Still I have no idea how to react. Yes of-course our relationship was complex since Standard 1. Consider life to be a debate and I am the topic. She would sometimes will be against me or will support me. Yes I was the one who made her turn against me. I am the culprit. There is something preventing me.
The fact that whenever I think whether I am in love with her, I become mad. I don’t feel butterflies in my stomach whenever we meet. But sometimes I get tensed when I am going to meet her. Sometimes I get surprised after she meets me. She even knew my whole school mark records. She knew that I failed in Hindi and computer Science subject when I was in 9th . Even though we do not talk much in cellphones / FB , we had met at-least once in three months. After 12th we meet only twice a year. Now she is totally against me. In-fact she was against me after 12th.
May be this is the last time I would be meeting her. Yes, I do agree that it was my mistake. And my Biggest mistake till date is I don’t know how to react. Am I in love ? Seriously I never felt it. Or am I suppressing that feelings inside me. Whatever it is I still feel guilty. Why didn’t I say sorry to her and start to rebuild our relationship ? She came to meet me although mistake was on me. Why didn’t I react. Now she is gone. I knew she would come again to meet me probably this December. All I can do is to rebuild our relationship. And I swear that she will support me from the middle of July. I wouldn’t go to her and beg her, all I would do is to prove her I am worthy. That’s it.
This story is a part of ‘An IdioT’s Scribble Series’.
All rights reserved.
Written by S G A Thomas a.k.a Ganesh.M
Words From An Idiot 